Kangaroo Island Council or should I address you as Sealink Council?

You astound me.

You are custodians of an island that contains some of the most pristine and fragile natural areas on earth. Your support of the surf festival is a failing of shocking proportion and the future will bear your punishment.

I’ve been visiting and surfing KI for decades. Without fail, each time I visit I’m awestruck at KI’s natural beauty. I’m a mainlander who is more local than you are. I am one of KI’s ‘dream customers’ – so I speak not only with authority but also as the sort of person who best supports your tourism. While recently in Hawaii I bragged to locals about KI – about an experience I had while surfing Sewers – the only one out, great 6’ waves, a fresh mist from recent rain, a visit from an inquisitive seal, a majestic roo enjoying some lunch near the shore – and you’re about to dump 4000 spewing, pissing and shitting people on this rare treasure.

Forget the fluffy little ‘green’ reports that you’ve naively accepted as you went yes yes yes to Sealink. See if you can get your minds about some very simple facts.

Fact #1 I’ve heard that there’ll be between 3,000 to 5,000 people – let’s say 4,000

Fact #2 Participants will get stoned and pissed – you won’t control the drugs – ever seen someone on an ekky? Of course you haven’t – you have no idea.

Fact #3 Participants will break eco rules – guaranteed.

Fact #4 The setting for this carnage is as inappropriate as possible – in an area of immense natural value.

Fact # 5 This carnage will be over multiple days (about 13 days, including arrivals, setups and packing up).

Fact # 6 The damage won’t be limited to Vivonne – car-loads of surfers will be fanging about the island looking for other surf options – guaranteed – you and Sealink also bear the responsibility for the damage these people will do.

Try my Cock-up calculator;

Population x pissed/stoned/etc% x idiot%

Conservatively;

4000 x 60% x 20% = 480 people doing the wrong thing.

That is, of 2400 drunk/drugged people – only 20% will do something stupid.

Try this at 25% and you’ve got an army of 600 wrong-doers.

Consider also what constitutes stupid and therefore harmful;

–          sneaking  a shit behind a bush because they don’t like the loos

–          stumbling into an off-limits area

–          firing up the ute and doing a donut

–          sneaking behind a sandhill for a piss

–          sneak in firearms

–          sneak in pets

–          things you can’t think of.

Imagine a group of 480 people told to run rampant through Vivonne Bay for 9 days – that’s what you’re supporting.

Imagine the damage they will do.

There’s your environmental impact statement – and it’s free.

Very sincerely

Chris Slayer